What is (my)Purpose?
Purpose can be defined as the REASON for which something/someone was created. Every living thing/being was created with purpose. I was created with purpose, YOU were created with purpose, and so that means that purpose is living on the inside of us. However, recognizing that "purpose" is present, still does not give us a clue as to how we figure out WHAT EXACTLY our purpose is. My purpose is different from your purpose, and so how do we find out what God has called us to do individually?
The answer to this question is still unfolding in my life. In Proverbs19:21 God says "Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand". In 2011, I started college in order to become an elementary school teacher. I thought that I had my entire life planned out. I was going to finish school, become a teacher, gain a stable living, explore the world, have children, and live comfortably, with God of course! Well, God had other plans. The reality is that God wasn't at the center of my life, money was! In Matthew 6:24 God says "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon". In my heart, I knew that I loved God, but in reality, I wasn't loving Him enough to truly trust in Him. I was so focused on being able to financially provide for my children, and give them the life that I didn't have growing up, that I lost sight of what was most important(bringing souls to the kingdom/ spending time with loved ones etc.) Yes, we need money to buy things, but God never promised us that we would be rich on earth. He instead told us to store up our treasures in heaven because the things on earth are only temporary. Matthew 6:19-21 states, Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.This verse became much more real to me last year.
On January 2015, I was driving upstate(with my roommate) to finish my last semester in college. Long story short, there was black ice on the highway and my roommate was giving me the directions(from her phone). As I was driving past an exit, she quickly yelled "go there" and pointed to the next exit. Without thinking, I switched lanes to try and catch the exit and I lost complete control of the car. The vehicle slid and ran straight into a rock wall. As soon as I lost control, I closed my eyes and screamed "JESUS!!!". Romans10:13 states, "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved". When the car hit the wall, I realized that I was still alive, but the car kept moving(it then flipped upside down) and I yelled "JESUS!!!" again. Next thing I knew, we were upside down in the car and all I could see was cars speeding past us, and the first thing that I did was thank God and ask my friend if she was okay. When she told me "no", I thought about cars blowing up in movies, and immediately unbuckled my seat-belt, and told her to do the same. I then tried to open the driver side door for us to climb out, but the handle was jammed. The moment that I told her that I couldn't get the door open, a lady came up to the car, pulled out the shattered window, and quickly told us to climb out because the car was leaking and had smoke coming out of it. When I stepped out of the car and saw its appearance, I just began to praise God in the middle of the highway. I knew that my friend and I SHOULD have been dead. BUT GOD! That accident was a miracle! The car was totaled, yet I left the accident untouched, and my friend only had a few bruises. God is sooooo merciful! I know, because He spared our lives!
Exodus9:16 "And in very deed for this cause have I raised thee up, for to shew in thee my power; and that my name may be declared throughout all the earth".
New Outlook
This accident changed my entire perspective about my purpose in life. I was 3 months pregnant at the time, and was so thankful that God spared my daughter's life as well. When I gave birth to Seriyah(which means soldier for the Lord/warrior of God, in Hebrew), my desire to be away from her was absolutely zero. I went on an interview for a teaching position when she turned 3 months, and all I could think about was my baby. The interview was from 9am-1pm and I knew that a normal school day would last much longer, being that it was a charter school(which would be from 7am-4/5pm). I just thought about how short life was and how I wanted to spend every moment of the rest of my life surrounded by the ones that I loved. I just couldn't fathom teaching everyone else's child, and abandoning my own. I knew that I did not trust anyone, except for my mother, and my husband's mom, to watch my daughter, but both of them are employed, and not where I need them to be in their walk with the Lord. I also thought about how I wanted my daughter to be raised, and I knew that if anyone was going to raise her to become the woman that God created her to be, it had to be me! This world desires to train our children(implementing demonic seeds in their heads) and we(as kingdom citizens) have to rebuke that spirit, and teach our children that no matter what the world tries to normalize/accept, God's word is absolute and final!
Furthermore, I no longer have the desire to teach in a school at the moment, because my main focus is my daughter. I want to be her teacher, and give her the relationship that I never had with my mom. I want to be present for all of her milestones, and developmental stages. Moreover, I also know that we have to make a living somehow, and so my husband works two jobs. However, he still doesn't earn enough for a comfortable NYC living. This is where our trust in God comes in even more. He will make a way- all we have to do is seek His kingdom first, and everything else will fall into place!
Before You Go! If you're questioning God's purpose for your life, let's stand in agreement in prayer!
Heavenly Father, we come to you with a thankful heart. Thank you for purpose Lord, that you knew us even before we were in our mother's womb. You know the desires of our hearts God, but make our desires match yours. We pray that you would have your way in our lives Lord. Help us to put every last bit of our trust in you O' Lord. Help us to dig deeper into your presence, that we may be able to hear your voice Father. Not only do we want to be hearers of your word, but we want to be doers as well. Reveal to us our purpose in life that we may give you the glory through it Lord. Not our will, but your will be done! In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
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